Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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