I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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