I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
