So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
