Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
