We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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