Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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