Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sext me about skeletons
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
