i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
