Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize