If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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