Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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