How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize