we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
