This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
