let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
