would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
