bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?