Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?