are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.