I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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