just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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