Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
