i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
