we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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