Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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