ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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