there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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