i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
