I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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