physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize