Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Houston, we have a blender
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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