I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
