She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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