But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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