so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize