they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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