Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
