I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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