no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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