No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
