i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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