there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
