alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
