the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
