PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
