Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
