My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
