i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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