Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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