literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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