Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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