i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
