Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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