I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
