Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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