well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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