OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
