Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
